PROS AND CONS OF BEING MARRIED TO PRACTICALLY PERFECT DAD
My husband is not romantic.
Last night we went out for a special meal to celebrate our first wedding anniversary. I wore a new dress, straightened my hair & spent time putting on ‘proper’ make-up. I probably spent 30 minutes getting ready, which for post-children me is pretty extensive. I thought the end result was pretty good.
Did he tell me I looked amazing? No of course not.
Did he make a special effort himself? I guess so. He added a nice shirt to the Diesel jeans he’d been wearing all day. Job done in 30 seconds.
But this isn’t any surprise to me. When we started ‘going out’ he didn’t shower me with romantic gestures. Flowers? Dream on. If I want some, it’s safer to buy them myself. A romantic note maybe? Don’t be ridiculous. It took me several years to persuade him to put an x at the end of a birthday card.
He rarely shows or declares his feelings for me. He doesn’t take my hand in public or dance with me at parties. I may occasionally hear a somewhat apologetic
But you DO KNOW I love you, don’t you?
LET ME ANALYSE THE HUSBAND DATA
Now that I have had exactly one year’s experience, I thought I would assess the pros and cons of our relationship and double-check I’ve done the right thing in marrying him.
NEGATIVES
- He is not romantic, as proved above.
- He is a sport fanatic.
He had the football on in the birthing suite when I was having our first son and much to my annoyance, let my mother get on with the role of ‘birth partner’. By my second labour my mother was banned (sorry Mum), the TV turned off and the husband firmly chained to my side. To the untrained (?) eye, he appears to be more emotionally attached to football than to me. When Arsenal won the league (unbeaten) in 2004, I finally saw the extent to which he was capable of expressing his feelings. The utter joy I witnessed in him after watching his beloved team win was only matched seven years later, on our wedding day last year, when he told me how happy he was that we had finally got married. - He doesn’t do DIY
- He is quite scruffy
BUT here are some of the things I like about him
POSITIVES
- He is hard working.
He goes to work every day, without complaining, and reliably provides for his family. I am very grateful for this simple but massive thing. - He’s very good at geography so I don’t have to worry about getting lost when he’s around. He can also tell me useful things, like how many minutes it takes to get from Birmingham to Cornwall (quite handy) and how many football stadiums there are on the way (slightly less handy).
- He is organised and efficient.
He runs his own accountancy practice, each year keeping hundreds of clients satisfied through his hard work and amazing organisational skills. I am very proud of this and would recommend his services to anybody because I know he would never let his clients down. - He doesn’t expect me to iron his shirts
- He gives blood and is the reason I give blood too.
- He can tell the time.
Although he has such huge work commitments, he comes back to me punctually, every evening, exactly when he says he will. Nobody in my family is particularly punctual so I find this trait surprisingly reassuring. - He lets me do what I want.
Possibly on account of negative number 2 (the one about being a sport fanatic), he is very happy for me to go out with my friends so he can watch football on the telly. He puts the children to bed and (this gives me a warm glow) always leaves the outside light on for when I get back. - He has lush smouldering eyes which he has very kindly passed down through the genes to our three gorgeous sons.
- He is faithful.
This one is obviously a deal breaker. Sometimes our life with our children is not as exciting as we would like but there is a lot to be said for a reliable, faithful husband who is not pining for ‘greener grass’ elsewhere. Also, I am 100% sure he has never cheated on me because I can’t see when he would have had time to fit it in. - He puts up with me.
CONCLUSION?
So there we have it – ten positives and only four negatives I feel that is conclusive proof that I have made an excellent job of choosing a husband and so I will keep him.
Happy first wedding anniversary babe. You DO KNOW I love you, don’t you?
x
Hilarious! Can definitely relate to positive no 2. My hubby could probably also tell you how many football stadiums are on the way – and also how many pubs… 😉 Happy anniversary – sounds like you both got a great catch! x
Hi Lara
Yes, once upon a time we used to go to pubs too. . . .
To be honest I think Practically Perfect Dad may have a photographic memory where maps are concerned! Maybe it’s just as well that opposites attract, otherwise people like you and I could have spent our lives driving round in circles. Only kidding – *splutter*- lovely to hear from you x
I’m still thick skinned enough to switch to the sports channels at your house when we visit so that Mark and I can continue watching the better things in life. I think he’s a pretty good all round bloke!
When you eventually write your book themed around your personal experiences, I believe you will produce a pretty interesting and amusing piece of work!
Just get on with it!!!
You men stick together don’t you? Alright, I give in, but do you both have to watch sport all the time? Really??
By the way I didn’t realise I was writing a book. Better add that to the someday maybe list then!! x
Very funny. Beautifully written Jane, as always.
Thanks, much appreciated.